Three Things I had To Learn The Hard Way.

I got "blogtagged" by my good friend Lonnie. I don't know if this a new phenomenon or not, since I'm generally behind on such things. Anyone it's a challenge to post on a subject that gets past around like a chain letter, except that nothing will happen to you if you don't do anything. Besides, didn't you ever think it was weird that a letter knew what happened to the people that didn't pass it on? Anyway this is what I had to learn the hard way.

1. Talent means nothing.

I will freely admit that I think I'm a talented motherfucker. I also realize that I may be the only person with that opinion. I've recorded an awesome CD that I hope I will crush with the awesomeness of my next one. I've written a book that is a good editing away from being a total monster. I don't normally say (or write) stuff like that out loud, I let my ego hide away where it won't embarrass me when I've got company. Having every creative thing I've done rejected by everyone but a devoted few has gone a long way toward keeping my ego in check.

But this isn't about me, believe it or not, this about all the people who deserve a lot more attention than they've received. THEY are most assuredly talented motherfuckers.
Actors: Jeffrey Wright, Nathan Fillion, Joel McHale, Judy Greer (I'm sorry I'm getting tired of linking, forgive me)
Comedians: Doug Benson, Kristen Schaal, Charlene Yi, Craig Robinson
Bands: Jeez, where to start? Where to finish? The Smugglers, Squatweiler, Cry Baby Cry, Menthol, The Dirtbombs, Anne Summers, The Five Maseratis, Lee Harvey Keitel Band, Jurassic Five, Blackstar, Boss Hog, The Chubbies, Brainiac, Cornershop, Bad Brains, The Damn Personals, Delta 72, Electric Six, The Figgs, The Friggs, The Interpreters,The Makers, Outrageous Cherry, The Pooh Sticks and many others that I can't think of right now.
For talent hasn't been enough. As I often say, pop culture is a whore running at the speed of light; you can't catch it, you can only hope it runs you over.

2. It's not what you say, it's what they hear.
I've been as honest and straightforward as I can be most of my life. But if a person only chooses to hear one part of what I've said or has chosen not to believe me outright, it doesn't matter how honest I am. Some of the most sincere apologies I've delivered in my life have been rejected mainly because it was easier for the person to swallow that I was being insincere. You are only responsible for half of someone's opinion of you, people filter everything that happens to them through the filter of their own beliefs, experience and prejudice.

3. I will never understand women.
I didn't learn to understand women the hard way, I learned that I would NEVER understand them the hard way. It started when I was a kid and I thought that if you liked a girl, you were nice to them. I thought that my bad luck with girls was just me not being attractive- not that I'm totally ruling that out. But I was talking to some girls from my high school and they said flat out, "I like it when a guy treats me like shit."
"Yeah, nice guys are boring."
In a less explicit and perhaps more subliminal way, this has been a hallmark of my romantic life. I wrote a post about this called The Nice Guy's Burden

I think the most basic disconnect is even recognizing that there is difference between Men and Women. Some of the women that I've talked to about this refuse to believe that there's any difference other than our reproductive processes, like that wasn't enough to have us disagree until the end of time. Women tend to look at the observation that they are emotionally driven and empathic than Men like it's an insult. It's not, us men need the balance that women provide, it's no coincidence that some of the most stunted societies on the Earth are the ones that most severely subjugate their women. There are differences between us, but they aren't so severe that a woman shouldn't have any job she's qualified for, even President.

But you can't have it both ways, you can't say that you don't want to be identified by the perceived shortcomings of your gender and then blame something like- say people supporting Obama- on sexism. If the dream of the true level playing field for all people comes true, these excuses are going to seem even sillier than they do now.

I MAY have some big news tomorrow, I'll let you know.