The Nitty Gritty

But more than all of those I am an entertainer. I carry around a ukulele with me for the same reason a gangster carries a gun; better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it. Stage or sidewalk, Your Pal Pete shows are just where they happen.
Currently, I'm working on a musical, RagnaPOP(or she's got the bomb), set to premiere at this year's Capital Fringe Festival. I'm also working on music, comedy, and musical comedy; for kids and/or adults.
The fruit of these projects will be available on this site, so check back regularly!

Monday, July 28, 2008

O.K., Now I'm Writing A Rock Musical.

I posted my plans on recording a concept album a little while ago. My friend Chris and I were trading e-mails about Joss Weaton's Musical, Dr. Horrible (which is no longer available free, I'm afraid), and he suggested that I try to write a musical. Like my Dad's suggestion that I move to Iowa to finish writing my book, I scoffed at first; but after a while it made a lot of sense, at least to me.

The best part about this is that the songs for it are practically already written, I was already writing a concept album, after all. It takes place 10 years in the future, at the record release show for a failed singer-songwriter. It's kinda like Hedwig and The Angry Inch, minus the gender confusion and plus mass murder. I'm hoping it'll be the most feel-good apocalypse musical ever.

I don't want to talk too much about it now, It's still in the beginning stages. The working titles:
Without You I'm Something(which was the title when it was a concept album)
She's Got The Bomb (which is the title of the song that was the seed of this idea)
A Man, A Song and A Big Fusion Bomb (Which sounded cooler in my head than it does written down)

Friday, July 25, 2008

Dustin "Screech" Diamond, American Douchebag

I think there are three things that have had a far reaching (and negative) effect on society:
1. People not taking responsibility for their actions.

2. The growing wave of entitlement.

3. Douchebags being WAY to proud about being douches. It doesn't mean they won't get pissed off if some one calls them that, it's like OJ; he might get pissed if you call him a murderer, but the evidence speaks for himself. If you do an image search of "Illusionist" Criss Angel or "Seduction Expert" Mystery, no picture has less than 6 pieces of douchebag flair. Yes, I count hairless abs as one, the oil that covers the abs for the pictures counts as another.
It's all a bit of overkill, just calling themselves, "Illusionist" and "Seduction Expert" gives them a lifetime douche pass.

Which brings me to Dustin Diamond, who doesn't to be taking his inevitable slide into obscurity very well and is insisting on leaving the unmistakable scent of vinegar behind him. You'd think that if the defining thing about you was that you were SCREECH ON SAVED BY THE BELL would prevent you from walking through like with a false sense of entitlement that makes Kevin Federline look like a monk by comparison, but you'd be wrong. His latest move is a tell-all about his Screech days. It's kind of like the new X-Files movie of celebrity tell-alls: regardless of what's in it, it's way too late for anyone to care.

Sometimes you feel bad when an actor gets typecast, many don't realize that typecasting was going to be the only kind of fame they would ever achieve; Mr. Diamond is one of those people. Instead of being happy of the crumbs he got off of pop culture's table, he keeps coming back like herpes, and he never gets less itchy.
First, he beats up Ron "Horshack" Palillo in celebrity boxing:

He fights a guy decades older and noticeably smaller, but still acts cocky.

Then there's Celebrity Fit Club; there are many douchebag highlights, but this is douchy and dangerous (about 1:30 in):

But the cherry on the top of the shit sundae is his sex tape. Thankfully, no one is interested in seeing it, so let me summarize(from what I heard). He not only gets two women to sleep with him AND preserve the magic moments in video, he also performs one of the most heinous sexual acts this side of the Donkey Punch, the "Dirty Sanchez". Folks, that just bad three-way etiquette. I have never seen the whole sex tape- and hopefully never will- but I did see an excerpt (Not strictly NSFW, really it's just in poor taste. Also I apologize for the link, I couldn't embed it):
Screech bragging

If I was a lawyer for the court of Pop Culture, the bragging at the end of the excerpt would rest my case. He obviously has some sort of hook-up contest with his friends and he feels that there being shit smearing involved earns him some extra credit.


The story I linked to thought that coming out with a book was going out of the normal order of the desperate celebrity move, but I would disagree. When you've sold yourself out all you have to sell are your friends.

Monday, July 21, 2008

4 dollar gas? What 4 dollar gas?

I've been without a car so long, I'd literally have to think hard about how long it's been. I got rid of it basically to get rid of the hassle of the heavy metal burden and the bureaucracy and expense that goes with it; but of course not having one brings brand new hassles. Luckily, I live in a city with an excellent public transportation system(for an American city, that is).

With my new job in-relatively- far-flung Olney, Maryland, the bear of a commute has me actually scanning for cars in the classifieds to buy. It's an inconvenient time to do so, of course, with gas prices as they are. There is nothing that foments people to action quite like an upsetting of the status quo and this- along with the mortgage crisis- is doing this in a way that Americans haven't seen since the late Seventies. But we need to step back from our political ideologies and look at the facts.

We have to do something about fossil fuels, flat out. Some people say we have 50 years of gas, some 500, regardless it's a finite resource, now is a good a time as any to figure out a way to deal with it. With China and India working hard to beat us at our game, consumption wise, we don't have much time.

To the people on the Right- Drilling for more oil is not going to bring oil prices down. Besides the actual time to build facilities and actually pump it out of the ground (some estimates say it may be as long as 10 years), the actual eventual cost savings will only probably be a couple of cents a gallon. People on both sides don't realize how much oil is already being pumped out of the ground already and the vast amounts we already use. Which brings me to..
The people on the left- Bio-fuels are not the answer, especially Ethanol. Besides using more resources to produce than it creates, people like to eat corn. Even if this wasn't the case, if they used every kernel of corn for Ethanol, it would only account about 20 percent of our fuel consumption. We use a fuck-load of oil, folks.

So then what? We have a LOT of natural gas in this country, but we should still use this opportunity to develop more efficient forms of power. The problem is, right now it's nuclear. In fact, it's just about about perfect, if we could just figure out where to put the waste...

Monday, July 07, 2008

Muppets Kicking Ass!

I don't know if you saw Cookie Monster on the Colbert Report, here's the clip(and yes I realize that He isn't a muppet, but he was created by Jim Henson and voiced by Frank Oz)

Milton Berle having his ass handed to him by Statler and Waldorf

Miss Piggy and Raquel Welch, what else needs to be said?

And a double shot of my favorite Muppet, Animal. I wish he could be my drummer, really.
Here's his drum duel with Buddy Rich:

Does violence belong in music, or is it just getting disciplined by Rita Moreno?

This is what I'll offer in place of a (late) July 4th post.

Thursday, July 03, 2008

Phoenix:It's F*#kin' Hot Part 2

Part One Here

I wish I was making this up, but Phoenix was recently named "America's Sweatiest City". The average Phoenix resident pumped out 26.4 ounces of sweat per hour, PER HOUR! I spend as little time in the heat as possible, which means that someone else is taking care of most of my share, at least 20 more ounces.

The thing that you notice about the "Dry Heat" is how the air steals all the moisture it can get. Fall asleep with your mouth open and you'll wake up with the dry mouth of a all-night bender. My dad used to say that the flicked dry booger was the state bird of Arizona.

You can only escape the hot, hot, heat of everything indoors with powerful conditioned air. The dry heat allows for the occasion use of a evaporative air cooler, it's just a fan blowing through a damp sponge, but it works really well as long as humidity stays in the single digits. After it rains, forget it. Not even shade can give you much relief. I was at a Sonic and I touched a black metal chair that had been in the shade for a while and it was almost too hot to touch.

Phoenix, it's good practice for Hell.