I need coffee!

Overheard at Starbucks (not really)

Can you help me? I certainly hope so. I need coffee. What size? Forgive for me laughing at the quaintness of the choices you have presented, but even your “vente” is woefully inadequate against the lethargy that is holding my very soul hostage. What, dear soul, is the italian word for “colossal” or “gigantic”? I suppose it’s my own fault, imploring a humble coffee slinger for such a Herculean task. This is a job for the world’s foremost engineers. The men who have dammed the world mightiest rivers, that’s a start. I need a cup-o-joe so large, it needs it own international airport. A java so immense it needs to issue it’s own currency. One so enormous cream and sugar cannot simply be added, they must be able to orbit around it. Their trajectory will slowly decay until gravity proves victorious and they splashdown into the vast blackness of our caffeinated miracle. Can you do this for me? Can you? Fine, give me a vente.

Coming soon to "the Underachiever's Progress":My acting debut,"Videopolis" and "Things I don't Understand about Women", sequel one of my most popular posts "Things I've never understood about Men."