The Nitty Gritty

But more than all of those I am an entertainer. I carry around a ukulele with me for the same reason a gangster carries a gun; better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it. Stage or sidewalk, Your Pal Pete shows are just where they happen.
Currently, I'm working on a musical, RagnaPOP(or she's got the bomb), set to premiere at this year's Capital Fringe Festival. I'm also working on music, comedy, and musical comedy; for kids and/or adults.
The fruit of these projects will be available on this site, so check back regularly!

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Commercials that drive me fuck nutty!

I realize that’s the nature of the beast. The bad ones are insulting to anyone used to tying their own shoes or make you feel inadequate for not making the right choices as a consumer. Even the best ones grind down your appreciation with repetition, until you can’t figure our why you liked it in the first place (although I do still love the VW commercials with the creepy guy from Fargo).

These ones, I feel go beyond the beyond.

Rentway- When I used to work at a pawn shop, some of my friends gave me a lot of shit for it. “Places like that take advantage of desperate poor people,” they’d say, and they wouldn’t be that far off.

But in my opinion, rent to own places were much worse. They get you in by saying you can afford to rent electronics and appliances for just a few dollars a week, on your way to eventual ownership. They hope that this step towards perceived upward class mobility blinds the customer to fact that, by the time they pay it off, they’ll have paid three times what it was originally worth. And if they got behind....

Rentway in particular pisses me off because they use the song “We Are Family” in their ads. I wrote some more accurate lyrics to illustrate their business practices:

“We are Family/ until you miss a payment you see/ then we aren’t family/ all your shit is coming with me”

Boys Gone Wild- Ick, do I need to say anymore? I will anyway. It sounds like a SNL fake commercial, but.... Oh my God! I think it was! These guys seem to be pretty psyched to be exposing their wedding tackle on camera. I wonder if these real college dudes realize that they’d be watched by as many gay men as women.

The one good thing is that it makes me appreciate the fact that women are attracted to us at all.

Carbon Dioxide - I still can’t believe it, a public service announcement styled commercial for a gas? They say, "The fuels that produce CO2 (carbon dioxide) have freed us from a world of backbreaking labor, lighting up our lives, allowing us to create and move the things we need, the people we love," the ad runs. "Now some politicians want to label carbon dioxide a pollutant. Imagine if they succeed -- what would our lives be like then?"

Like it’s in danger of not being around? As long as there are animals exhaling and club soda you can rest easy, Competitive Enterprise Institute!

What, it’s an front for big oil? Funded by Exxon? I’m so disillusioned!

I also noticed ads recently where horrible, quasi-biblical things happen to the people who use the products being advertised. Why should I buy Juicy Fruit gum if I run the risk of being attacked and dragged underground by an ant the size of a Mini Cooper? If you transform into a chicken from eating too many McDonald’s chicken sandwiches, do they think we’ll only eat them until we see feathers in the shower drain? Cracker, please!

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