The Nitty Gritty

But more than all of those I am an entertainer. I carry around a ukulele with me for the same reason a gangster carries a gun; better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it. Stage or sidewalk, Your Pal Pete shows are just where they happen.
Currently, I'm working on a musical, RagnaPOP(or she's got the bomb), set to premiere at this year's Capital Fringe Festival. I'm also working on music, comedy, and musical comedy; for kids and/or adults.
The fruit of these projects will be available on this site, so check back regularly!

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

The Secret Language of Musicians.

As an avid student of the history of pop music as well as a performing songwriter, musicians in general are a lot more full of shit that non-musician music lovers could ever realize. People who become famous musicians in an effort to prolong their adolescence, much like people who make the snap decision to go to grad school as they approached graduation.

I hope my musician friends don't mind if I spill some of our secrets.

When a musician says:"My band broke up because we had creative differences."
The truth is: "Some guys in the band were happy with simply being terrible, but some wanted to suck in a new and exciting way!"

Musician:"I don't do drugs."
Truth: "I just smoke pot, eat the occasional mushroom and drink. A lot."

Musician:"This is the band's favorite album of ours."
Truth:"This will be your least favorite album of ours."

Musician:"The whole band really contributed to this one"
Truth:"We are so bereft of ideas, we actually asked the drummer his opinion."

Musician:"Illegal downloading has really hurt our album sales."
Truth:"Downloading is a good scapegoat to keep us in denial that people don't give a shit about us any more."

If the press says that a new album is:
"Ambitious" it means the songs are a lot longer and may be linked in some thematic fashion by an convoluted story.
"Challenging" means that there are a lot of weird sounds.
"Atmospheric" means the band got a lot of new effects petals that they just HAD to use.

Musician:"He left the band."
Truth: "We fired him."
vice versa works too.

Musician:"I don't really pay attention to music critics."
Truth:"Critics really fuckin' hate me."

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