A Warning to Straight American Males!

Women will only feel SO bad about their bad about their bodies before they turn their unforgiving eye towards men. The ever shrinking feminine standard of body size and the masculine upholding of this ridiculousness has raised my ire enough to write a post about it (in fact I did here)

But a few recent things have made me get all Peter Finch in "Network" where I throw open the window and yell,"I'm Cross As Heck, and I'm Refusing To Take It Any Longer!"


Scarlett Johannson's Vogue cover which proclaimed the ingenue "Curvy and Cool". Scarlett is now curvy? I think she looks like a normal woman, before the meaning of that got so preverted. Sara Ramirez is curvy (and delectably so).


Did you see the recent pictures of Courtney Love in a bikini? I ran across too many comment calling it her "sexy new look". It reminds me of something my Dad used to say, if she got any skinnier she'd fall through her ass and hang herself! A colorful pcture painted on the mind's eye for colorful times. The saddest part of this to me is that it makes a lot of beautiful women feel ugly. Beautiful women come in all shapes and sizes and tits, hips and ass are not dirty words (well, I guess tits and ass are... you get my point).

We should be honest, women do a lot of this to themselves, but we men have a karmic debt for the fact that they made "No Fat Chicks" shirts in XXL.

It wouldn't take much to turn the tide, just a few women breaking up with their boyfriends because his ass got too big. The ego-imploding shockwave would spread to the most remotest sections of America making all holders of the Y chromosome shudder with dread. Gyms would be stuffed with new recruits and plastic surgeons would be nipping and tucking their way to new levels of affluence. Those lacking the willpower and/or the funds to conform to this new order will sit in a fetal position, cradling their gut like a newborn baby, softly sobbing,"I'm working on it, I'm working on it."

And what's with this "Cougar" bullshit? If you aren't familiar with the term, it refers to an older woman who dates a younger man. It seems the harsher slang is usually reserved for women. What is the man in this kind of relationship called? "Boy toy", I can handle that. When the genders are reversed what's the woman called? "Golddigger." What's the man called? "Lucky Bastard".