Since The Onion doesn't accept submissions, I have to pose my own fake news.
Eugene, Oregon- Local Conspiracy Theorist Lee Abbott, creator of the web site It's All Connected, is spreading the rumor of another government plot to control the general population that saw it's origin as a joke.
Mike Franklin, who has lived with Abbott for two years explains: "I was at a party discussing Lee's crazy blog and we started coming up with our own out-there plots to crack ourselves up and someone said that the government employed subcultural taste makers to get kids to wear their pants big, so they would fall down if they ran from the authorities."
"I didn't think we went far enough, so I said that they also encouraged facial piercings and tattoos to guarantee that they never infiltrate the upper classes. When I got home, I told Lee about it and I though he'd get the joke, but 20 minutes later it was on his site under the headline, 'Subjugated By Subculture', with a theory that everyone from Fred Durst to Fallout Boy was on the government payroll."
The other people in Abbott's newsgroup have run with the story as well. Gary "Stumps" Campbell of the Altoona Truth Network says, "This merely confirms what many of us have thought for years, that the Military-Industrial Complex will use any tool the keep the "sheep" in line."
Franklin has been shocked at the impact his fictional story has had. "I thought about telling Lee it was just a joke, but how I want to make up more 'conspiracies'. It's just too easy!"
No comments:
Post a Comment