The Nitty Gritty

But more than all of those I am an entertainer. I carry around a ukulele with me for the same reason a gangster carries a gun; better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it. Stage or sidewalk, Your Pal Pete shows are just where they happen.
Currently, I'm working on a musical, RagnaPOP(or she's got the bomb), set to premiere at this year's Capital Fringe Festival. I'm also working on music, comedy, and musical comedy; for kids and/or adults.
The fruit of these projects will be available on this site, so check back regularly!

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

The Most Annoying Customer That Wasn't Mine

For some reason I feel compelled to post something today, But I've been gripped with a bit of writer's block, so here is another excerpt from the book I've been working on:"Surviving Retail".

I used the first half of my lunch hour one early January at the mall when I worked at the gadget store in the to-remain-nameless gigantic book seller and grabbed a couple of magazines. The line was long with post holiday shoppers taking advantage of sales. The store was on top of things and being as efficient as they could possibly be but the line was quite formitable.

Perhaps it was my easy-going way or sympathy for fellow retail soldiers, but I didn't have a problem waiting in line, unfortunately the family behind me didn't have the same amount of patience.

The mother was stoic but the husband had some observations he made about our queue.

In the most unbelievably annoying whine I've ever heard in a adult male, proclaimed,"I don' t know why they even bother selling exercise books here, you could go to a gym and get all big and strong before you'd get through this line."

His 14 year old son started moaning a long, oscillating, "ooohhhhhh" as he shuffled in a small circle, slump- shouldered looking and sounding like a broken down motorboat. His circleing was becoming uncomfortably close to my right arm. I was praying under my breath, stay away from me, please God, don't let him touch me.

The Dad wasn't done. In the same whine he continued, "I don't know why they even bother having travel books here, you could fly to Paris and back and still not be through this line."

I felt my brain swelling, I rubbed my temples for relief and patiently waited my turn. I paid in exact change and was off to the rest of my lunch hour. The last thing I saw as I walked out was the family behind me still in line as my cashier said to them, loud and clear, "Could I get the next customer, please? Sir, I can get you here. Sir, are you ready? Sir?"

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