The Orange Flags of Courtesy, Part 2

I have never used the flags myself, and I was one of the only people that actually yield for pedestrians when I drove, to the profanity rich ire of my fellow drivers.

I became very curious about the overall effect the flags would bring, if they would work(yes, well, better than before, I guess), if they would look funny when people use them(as it turns out, it was fucking hilarious) and how quickly they would get stolen.
“Why would somebody steal them?,” a customer asked me.
I replied,”Maybe because they’re not nailed down.”

Did they not go to high school? Well, I don’t know, maybe the concept of stealing lawn ornaments and real estate signs was more indicative of my more rural upbringing. O.K. then, did they not see a dorm room or roommates bedroom decorated in modern street sign?
The neighborhood certainly has it’s share of kids with the requisite amount of precociousness.

One day I was walking down Connecticut and a woman in her mid 50s and dressed all in black smoothly walked up to the crosswalk, grabbed a flag, got into the passenger’s side of a running car, and take off. A flag steal with actual choreography, I felt like I was in a Disney Channel version of Heat.

I saw a woman putting reflective DC flag stickers on the flags and writing DC DOT in permanent marker, I saw this as an opportunity to get a little research. I asked her how many flags have gotten stolen and she said,”One or two.”

So if she was telling the truth, worst case scenario, I’ve witnessed half of every flag theft? It seemed really unlikely since some of the flag holders were almost empty on both sides, but they could have gotten blown out by the wind. Regardless, she wasn’t worried.
“Putting the DC stuff on it should stop that.” WHAT? When these were people born were they already 25? Maybe in the killing of brain cells that we all do in our early-20s they forget any desire or memory of stupid shit you do for a laugh. With the affixation of that indie rock fetish of the DC flag, I wanted to steal one myself!

Obviously, many people shared my desire, if not my restraint. The DC flag stickers were replaced by flags accented with a strip of 2 tone reflective tape and the helpful “Stop” written in big letters. Mind you, I may have gone to Delaware public school, but I thought that was one of the only true universal things in this world was don’t hit people with your car.

It’s interesting to note that, as far as I know, two people have been hit crossing the street, but not at crosswalks or while wielding the flags. There might have been more, but real research and blogging go together like healthy and bacon.

I, however, am taking no chances. Since people tend to show more respect to the red light, that’s where I cross the street with the little blue guy to tell me it’s all clear. The flags have proven to be useful as a weapon of the walker to pound against discourteous automobiles at they whizz past, but that’s not for me. Even the slightest chance that I may meet my end at the grill of a beemer, orange flag of courtesy as funeral shroud, is way too high.
This is this a hilarious video of George Washington. Warning,people at work, profanity!you tube