I posted my plans on recording a concept album a little while ago. My friend Chris and I were trading e-mails about Joss Weaton's Musical, Dr. Horrible (which is no longer available free, I'm afraid), and he suggested that I try to write a musical. Like my Dad's suggestion that I move to Iowa to finish writing my book, I scoffed at first; but after a while it made a lot of sense, at least to me.
The best part about this is that the songs for it are practically already written, I was already writing a concept album, after all. It takes place 10 years in the future, at the record release show for a failed singer-songwriter. It's kinda like Hedwig and The Angry Inch, minus the gender confusion and plus mass murder. I'm hoping it'll be the most feel-good apocalypse musical ever.
I don't want to talk too much about it now, It's still in the beginning stages. The working titles:
Without You I'm Something(which was the title when it was a concept album)
She's Got The Bomb (which is the title of the song that was the seed of this idea)
A Man, A Song and A Big Fusion Bomb (Which sounded cooler in my head than it does written down)
Monday, July 28, 2008
Friday, July 25, 2008
Dustin "Screech" Diamond, American Douchebag
I think there are three things that have had a far reaching (and negative) effect on society:
1. People not taking responsibility for their actions.
2. The growing wave of entitlement.
3. Douchebags being WAY to proud about being douches. It doesn't mean they won't get pissed off if some one calls them that, it's like OJ; he might get pissed if you call him a murderer, but the evidence speaks for himself. If you do an image search of "Illusionist" Criss Angel or "Seduction Expert" Mystery, no picture has less than 6 pieces of douchebag flair. Yes, I count hairless abs as one, the oil that covers the abs for the pictures counts as another.
It's all a bit of overkill, just calling themselves, "Illusionist" and "Seduction Expert" gives them a lifetime douche pass.
Which brings me to Dustin Diamond, who doesn't to be taking his inevitable slide into obscurity very well and is insisting on leaving the unmistakable scent of vinegar behind him. You'd think that if the defining thing about you was that you were SCREECH ON SAVED BY THE BELL would prevent you from walking through like with a false sense of entitlement that makes Kevin Federline look like a monk by comparison, but you'd be wrong. His latest move is a tell-all about his Screech days. It's kind of like the new X-Files movie of celebrity tell-alls: regardless of what's in it, it's way too late for anyone to care.
Sometimes you feel bad when an actor gets typecast, many don't realize that typecasting was going to be the only kind of fame they would ever achieve; Mr. Diamond is one of those people. Instead of being happy of the crumbs he got off of pop culture's table, he keeps coming back like herpes, and he never gets less itchy.
First, he beats up Ron "Horshack" Palillo in celebrity boxing:
He fights a guy decades older and noticeably smaller, but still acts cocky.
Then there's Celebrity Fit Club; there are many douchebag highlights, but this is douchy and dangerous (about 1:30 in):
But the cherry on the top of the shit sundae is his sex tape. Thankfully, no one is interested in seeing it, so let me summarize(from what I heard). He not only gets two women to sleep with him AND preserve the magic moments in video, he also performs one of the most heinous sexual acts this side of the Donkey Punch, the "Dirty Sanchez". Folks, that just bad three-way etiquette. I have never seen the whole sex tape- and hopefully never will- but I did see an excerpt (Not strictly NSFW, really it's just in poor taste. Also I apologize for the link, I couldn't embed it):
Screech bragging
If I was a lawyer for the court of Pop Culture, the bragging at the end of the excerpt would rest my case. He obviously has some sort of hook-up contest with his friends and he feels that there being shit smearing involved earns him some extra credit.
Douchebag.
The story I linked to thought that coming out with a book was going out of the normal order of the desperate celebrity move, but I would disagree. When you've sold yourself out all you have to sell are your friends.
1. People not taking responsibility for their actions.
2. The growing wave of entitlement.
3. Douchebags being WAY to proud about being douches. It doesn't mean they won't get pissed off if some one calls them that, it's like OJ; he might get pissed if you call him a murderer, but the evidence speaks for himself. If you do an image search of "Illusionist" Criss Angel or "Seduction Expert" Mystery, no picture has less than 6 pieces of douchebag flair. Yes, I count hairless abs as one, the oil that covers the abs for the pictures counts as another.
It's all a bit of overkill, just calling themselves, "Illusionist" and "Seduction Expert" gives them a lifetime douche pass.
Which brings me to Dustin Diamond, who doesn't to be taking his inevitable slide into obscurity very well and is insisting on leaving the unmistakable scent of vinegar behind him. You'd think that if the defining thing about you was that you were SCREECH ON SAVED BY THE BELL would prevent you from walking through like with a false sense of entitlement that makes Kevin Federline look like a monk by comparison, but you'd be wrong. His latest move is a tell-all about his Screech days. It's kind of like the new X-Files movie of celebrity tell-alls: regardless of what's in it, it's way too late for anyone to care.
Sometimes you feel bad when an actor gets typecast, many don't realize that typecasting was going to be the only kind of fame they would ever achieve; Mr. Diamond is one of those people. Instead of being happy of the crumbs he got off of pop culture's table, he keeps coming back like herpes, and he never gets less itchy.
First, he beats up Ron "Horshack" Palillo in celebrity boxing:
He fights a guy decades older and noticeably smaller, but still acts cocky.
Then there's Celebrity Fit Club; there are many douchebag highlights, but this is douchy and dangerous (about 1:30 in):
But the cherry on the top of the shit sundae is his sex tape. Thankfully, no one is interested in seeing it, so let me summarize(from what I heard). He not only gets two women to sleep with him AND preserve the magic moments in video, he also performs one of the most heinous sexual acts this side of the Donkey Punch, the "Dirty Sanchez". Folks, that just bad three-way etiquette. I have never seen the whole sex tape- and hopefully never will- but I did see an excerpt (Not strictly NSFW, really it's just in poor taste. Also I apologize for the link, I couldn't embed it):
Screech bragging
If I was a lawyer for the court of Pop Culture, the bragging at the end of the excerpt would rest my case. He obviously has some sort of hook-up contest with his friends and he feels that there being shit smearing involved earns him some extra credit.
Douchebag.
The story I linked to thought that coming out with a book was going out of the normal order of the desperate celebrity move, but I would disagree. When you've sold yourself out all you have to sell are your friends.
Monday, July 21, 2008
4 dollar gas? What 4 dollar gas?
I've been without a car so long, I'd literally have to think hard about how long it's been. I got rid of it basically to get rid of the hassle of the heavy metal burden and the bureaucracy and expense that goes with it; but of course not having one brings brand new hassles. Luckily, I live in a city with an excellent public transportation system(for an American city, that is).
With my new job in-relatively- far-flung Olney, Maryland, the bear of a commute has me actually scanning for cars in the classifieds to buy. It's an inconvenient time to do so, of course, with gas prices as they are. There is nothing that foments people to action quite like an upsetting of the status quo and this- along with the mortgage crisis- is doing this in a way that Americans haven't seen since the late Seventies. But we need to step back from our political ideologies and look at the facts.
We have to do something about fossil fuels, flat out. Some people say we have 50 years of gas, some 500, regardless it's a finite resource, now is a good a time as any to figure out a way to deal with it. With China and India working hard to beat us at our game, consumption wise, we don't have much time.
To the people on the Right- Drilling for more oil is not going to bring oil prices down. Besides the actual time to build facilities and actually pump it out of the ground (some estimates say it may be as long as 10 years), the actual eventual cost savings will only probably be a couple of cents a gallon. People on both sides don't realize how much oil is already being pumped out of the ground already and the vast amounts we already use. Which brings me to..
The people on the left- Bio-fuels are not the answer, especially Ethanol. Besides using more resources to produce than it creates, people like to eat corn. Even if this wasn't the case, if they used every kernel of corn for Ethanol, it would only account about 20 percent of our fuel consumption. We use a fuck-load of oil, folks.
So then what? We have a LOT of natural gas in this country, but we should still use this opportunity to develop more efficient forms of power. The problem is, right now it's nuclear. In fact, it's just about about perfect, if we could just figure out where to put the waste...
With my new job in-relatively- far-flung Olney, Maryland, the bear of a commute has me actually scanning for cars in the classifieds to buy. It's an inconvenient time to do so, of course, with gas prices as they are. There is nothing that foments people to action quite like an upsetting of the status quo and this- along with the mortgage crisis- is doing this in a way that Americans haven't seen since the late Seventies. But we need to step back from our political ideologies and look at the facts.
We have to do something about fossil fuels, flat out. Some people say we have 50 years of gas, some 500, regardless it's a finite resource, now is a good a time as any to figure out a way to deal with it. With China and India working hard to beat us at our game, consumption wise, we don't have much time.
To the people on the Right- Drilling for more oil is not going to bring oil prices down. Besides the actual time to build facilities and actually pump it out of the ground (some estimates say it may be as long as 10 years), the actual eventual cost savings will only probably be a couple of cents a gallon. People on both sides don't realize how much oil is already being pumped out of the ground already and the vast amounts we already use. Which brings me to..
The people on the left- Bio-fuels are not the answer, especially Ethanol. Besides using more resources to produce than it creates, people like to eat corn. Even if this wasn't the case, if they used every kernel of corn for Ethanol, it would only account about 20 percent of our fuel consumption. We use a fuck-load of oil, folks.
So then what? We have a LOT of natural gas in this country, but we should still use this opportunity to develop more efficient forms of power. The problem is, right now it's nuclear. In fact, it's just about about perfect, if we could just figure out where to put the waste...
Monday, July 07, 2008
Muppets Kicking Ass!
I don't know if you saw Cookie Monster on the Colbert Report, here's the clip(and yes I realize that He isn't a muppet, but he was created by Jim Henson and voiced by Frank Oz)
Milton Berle having his ass handed to him by Statler and Waldorf
Miss Piggy and Raquel Welch, what else needs to be said?
And a double shot of my favorite Muppet, Animal. I wish he could be my drummer, really.
Here's his drum duel with Buddy Rich:
Does violence belong in music, or is it just getting disciplined by Rita Moreno?
This is what I'll offer in place of a (late) July 4th post.
Milton Berle having his ass handed to him by Statler and Waldorf
Miss Piggy and Raquel Welch, what else needs to be said?
And a double shot of my favorite Muppet, Animal. I wish he could be my drummer, really.
Here's his drum duel with Buddy Rich:
Does violence belong in music, or is it just getting disciplined by Rita Moreno?
This is what I'll offer in place of a (late) July 4th post.
Thursday, July 03, 2008
Phoenix:It's F*#kin' Hot Part 2
Part One Here
I wish I was making this up, but Phoenix was recently named "America's Sweatiest City". The average Phoenix resident pumped out 26.4 ounces of sweat per hour, PER HOUR! I spend as little time in the heat as possible, which means that someone else is taking care of most of my share, at least 20 more ounces.
The thing that you notice about the "Dry Heat" is how the air steals all the moisture it can get. Fall asleep with your mouth open and you'll wake up with the dry mouth of a all-night bender. My dad used to say that the flicked dry booger was the state bird of Arizona.
You can only escape the hot, hot, heat of everything indoors with powerful conditioned air. The dry heat allows for the occasion use of a evaporative air cooler, it's just a fan blowing through a damp sponge, but it works really well as long as humidity stays in the single digits. After it rains, forget it. Not even shade can give you much relief. I was at a Sonic and I touched a black metal chair that had been in the shade for a while and it was almost too hot to touch.
Phoenix, it's good practice for Hell.
I wish I was making this up, but Phoenix was recently named "America's Sweatiest City". The average Phoenix resident pumped out 26.4 ounces of sweat per hour, PER HOUR! I spend as little time in the heat as possible, which means that someone else is taking care of most of my share, at least 20 more ounces.
The thing that you notice about the "Dry Heat" is how the air steals all the moisture it can get. Fall asleep with your mouth open and you'll wake up with the dry mouth of a all-night bender. My dad used to say that the flicked dry booger was the state bird of Arizona.
You can only escape the hot, hot, heat of everything indoors with powerful conditioned air. The dry heat allows for the occasion use of a evaporative air cooler, it's just a fan blowing through a damp sponge, but it works really well as long as humidity stays in the single digits. After it rains, forget it. Not even shade can give you much relief. I was at a Sonic and I touched a black metal chair that had been in the shade for a while and it was almost too hot to touch.
Phoenix, it's good practice for Hell.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
The Immigrant Labor Arts Project
My friend Johanna has started The Immigrant Labor Arts Project to pay day laborers their regular rate to paint pictures. The art they've created is worth seeing and if you feel so inclined, you can donate to keep the project going.
The Immigrant Labor Arts Project
The Immigrant Labor Arts Project
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
School Of Rock 2: The Year After
I just heard that they might do a sequel to School Of Rock. You see, I still like Jack Black and I loved that movie. Honestly, just the fact that he's half of Tenacious D would give him cred with me that not even The Pick Of Destiny could erase. To read screenwriter Mike White's interview that I linked to earlier, it might be a little more bitter than sweet.
I think I loved School of Rock so much because it came from the same energy that I approached music. The essential quote from the movie when Dewey tells the kids how important their rock band project is:"And it may sound easy... but nothing could be harder. It will test your head... and your mind... and your brain, too." That accounts for much of the joy I've gotten out of music, the shear unexplainable "YEAH!" that you get from playing music. I haven't played in a very long time and I miss that a lot, although my enthusiasm has been a double edged sword. It's created some thrilling rock moments and some sonic missteps but the pluses (in my non-objective opinion) outweighed negatives, but not many people joined us at our shows. This would not stop us from giving it our all; in fact we rocked out so hard the night before in front of four people, The Milk-O-Matics Damon's guitar didn't work at our huge outdoor gig we played the next day. Dude, that's what happens when you test your head, mind and brain.
If I was going to write a script for this movie, I would paint my version of a realistic portrait of what would happen in the wake of the events from the first movie. They'd get some attention for their age, more than that shitty band that won the contest at the end (that's what I loved about the bad contest, in the movie as in real life, the best band doesn't win any battle of the bands). However, after the first couple of things that don't go their way and they hear "no" a few times, the band will lose a few under committed members, if not break up outright. A couple members may form their more "serious" musical project soon after, I'm guessing the bass player and the guitar player (dude wrote Mooney Suzuki quality songs in Junior High!). They have some ups and downs but realize that if they make the music they like, they'll have at least one fan, themselves.
It's not as sad as it sounds.
I think I loved School of Rock so much because it came from the same energy that I approached music. The essential quote from the movie when Dewey tells the kids how important their rock band project is:"And it may sound easy... but nothing could be harder. It will test your head... and your mind... and your brain, too." That accounts for much of the joy I've gotten out of music, the shear unexplainable "YEAH!" that you get from playing music. I haven't played in a very long time and I miss that a lot, although my enthusiasm has been a double edged sword. It's created some thrilling rock moments and some sonic missteps but the pluses (in my non-objective opinion) outweighed negatives, but not many people joined us at our shows. This would not stop us from giving it our all; in fact we rocked out so hard the night before in front of four people, The Milk-O-Matics Damon's guitar didn't work at our huge outdoor gig we played the next day. Dude, that's what happens when you test your head, mind and brain.
If I was going to write a script for this movie, I would paint my version of a realistic portrait of what would happen in the wake of the events from the first movie. They'd get some attention for their age, more than that shitty band that won the contest at the end (that's what I loved about the bad contest, in the movie as in real life, the best band doesn't win any battle of the bands). However, after the first couple of things that don't go their way and they hear "no" a few times, the band will lose a few under committed members, if not break up outright. A couple members may form their more "serious" musical project soon after, I'm guessing the bass player and the guitar player (dude wrote Mooney Suzuki quality songs in Junior High!). They have some ups and downs but realize that if they make the music they like, they'll have at least one fan, themselves.
It's not as sad as it sounds.
Monday, June 23, 2008
George Carlin, Man!
I am so pissed off. Fuck that motherfucking cocksucker. Who does that cunt think he is dying when we still need him? Shit.
Oh, I almost forgot, tits.
Oh, I almost forgot, tits.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Phoenix:It's F*#kin' Hot
No, seriously, really hot. For anyone not familiar with the unique heat a desert summer hits you with, it's difficult to relate. The people I've talked to say, "But isn't it a dry heat?" Yes, when they say, "With the heat index, it feels like 100 degrees!", here it actually IS 100 degrees. Or it would be if it got cooler around here, today it was 113; as of 10:30 tonight it was a brisk 101 degrees.
In a normal summer, temporary relief can be had by a fleeting breeze. Here no such luck, breezes just bring another wave of heat, even at night; like God opened a gigantic oven door.
Sun here is like the sand at the beach, despite your best efforts to prevent it, it gets in where you least expect it. I constantly find myself with a low level burn on my head on days where I wear a hat and have only spent a half hour out of the shade. The homeless people- who are plentiful and aggressive- looked like they've been straight-up braised from all their time outdoors.
Did I mention that I want to move back to D.C.? Yes, I do. I've got a job, but I need a place to live and I would prefer to live with people I know. E-mail me at yourpalpete@gmail.com.
In a normal summer, temporary relief can be had by a fleeting breeze. Here no such luck, breezes just bring another wave of heat, even at night; like God opened a gigantic oven door.
Sun here is like the sand at the beach, despite your best efforts to prevent it, it gets in where you least expect it. I constantly find myself with a low level burn on my head on days where I wear a hat and have only spent a half hour out of the shade. The homeless people- who are plentiful and aggressive- looked like they've been straight-up braised from all their time outdoors.
Did I mention that I want to move back to D.C.? Yes, I do. I've got a job, but I need a place to live and I would prefer to live with people I know. E-mail me at yourpalpete@gmail.com.
Monday, June 16, 2008
People Behind the Music Forgot
The VH1 series Behind The Music was like video crack for a music geek such as I. As I've mentioned before, it's worse in one way, you can't tape crack to smoke it later.
However, my geekiness gives me the ability to call bullshit on some aspects of their version of the rise and fall of some of music's biggest artists.
1. Cliff Martinez and Jack Sherman- The big theme of The Red Hot Chili Peppers episode was the musical brotherhood between the original members before the death of guitarist Hillel Slovak. They fail to mention that this line up was only together for their third album, The Uplift Mofo Party Plan. Jack Irons and Slovak left the Chili Peppers when their more "serious" band What Is This? got a record contract with MCA. How did they do? I bought their album from the dollar store where I used to work. They replaced them with Martinez and Sherman for their first album and Slovak returned for their second.
2. Michel'le- The first honest-to-God pop hit that Dr. Dre was responsible for was for when he rapped on and produced her top 10 single "No More Lies". She also bore him (and later, Suge Knight) a child. Don't you think she deserved at least a mention on his episode?
3. Ed King- On the Lynyrd Skynyrd episode, a lot more is made of King's replacement, Steve Gaines, who died in the tragic plane crash that also took the life of lead singer Ronnie Van Zant after being in the band a year. King played and co-wrote on their first three albums, yet he gets no mention at all. Another fun fact, he also played bass in The Strawberry Alarm Clock ("Incense and Peppermints").
4. Sly Stone- The fact that there is no Sly Stone Behind The Music is- in my opinion- is nothing short of a travesty. Something tells me that the fact that Sly is inconveniently still alive and probably not willing to participate in any way may be the reason. His story has all the elements of the classic BTM episode: hard work leads to stratospheric fame leads to the inevitable drug-fueled decline, not to mention truly groundbreaking music. When people wonder what music someone like Jimi Hendrix or Janis Joplin might have made, they might look at Sly- who did live- and realize they might not be making music at all.
VH1, make it so.
Thanks for indulging me.
However, my geekiness gives me the ability to call bullshit on some aspects of their version of the rise and fall of some of music's biggest artists.
1. Cliff Martinez and Jack Sherman- The big theme of The Red Hot Chili Peppers episode was the musical brotherhood between the original members before the death of guitarist Hillel Slovak. They fail to mention that this line up was only together for their third album, The Uplift Mofo Party Plan. Jack Irons and Slovak left the Chili Peppers when their more "serious" band What Is This? got a record contract with MCA. How did they do? I bought their album from the dollar store where I used to work. They replaced them with Martinez and Sherman for their first album and Slovak returned for their second.
2. Michel'le- The first honest-to-God pop hit that Dr. Dre was responsible for was for when he rapped on and produced her top 10 single "No More Lies". She also bore him (and later, Suge Knight) a child. Don't you think she deserved at least a mention on his episode?
3. Ed King- On the Lynyrd Skynyrd episode, a lot more is made of King's replacement, Steve Gaines, who died in the tragic plane crash that also took the life of lead singer Ronnie Van Zant after being in the band a year. King played and co-wrote on their first three albums, yet he gets no mention at all. Another fun fact, he also played bass in The Strawberry Alarm Clock ("Incense and Peppermints").
4. Sly Stone- The fact that there is no Sly Stone Behind The Music is- in my opinion- is nothing short of a travesty. Something tells me that the fact that Sly is inconveniently still alive and probably not willing to participate in any way may be the reason. His story has all the elements of the classic BTM episode: hard work leads to stratospheric fame leads to the inevitable drug-fueled decline, not to mention truly groundbreaking music. When people wonder what music someone like Jimi Hendrix or Janis Joplin might have made, they might look at Sly- who did live- and realize they might not be making music at all.
VH1, make it so.
Thanks for indulging me.
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