The Nitty Gritty

But more than all of those I am an entertainer. I carry around a ukulele with me for the same reason a gangster carries a gun; better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it. Stage or sidewalk, Your Pal Pete shows are just where they happen.
Currently, I'm working on a musical, RagnaPOP(or she's got the bomb), set to premiere at this year's Capital Fringe Festival. I'm also working on music, comedy, and musical comedy; for kids and/or adults.
The fruit of these projects will be available on this site, so check back regularly!

Friday, July 25, 2008

Dustin "Screech" Diamond, American Douchebag

I think there are three things that have had a far reaching (and negative) effect on society:
1. People not taking responsibility for their actions.

2. The growing wave of entitlement.

3. Douchebags being WAY to proud about being douches. It doesn't mean they won't get pissed off if some one calls them that, it's like OJ; he might get pissed if you call him a murderer, but the evidence speaks for himself. If you do an image search of "Illusionist" Criss Angel or "Seduction Expert" Mystery, no picture has less than 6 pieces of douchebag flair. Yes, I count hairless abs as one, the oil that covers the abs for the pictures counts as another.
It's all a bit of overkill, just calling themselves, "Illusionist" and "Seduction Expert" gives them a lifetime douche pass.

Which brings me to Dustin Diamond, who doesn't to be taking his inevitable slide into obscurity very well and is insisting on leaving the unmistakable scent of vinegar behind him. You'd think that if the defining thing about you was that you were SCREECH ON SAVED BY THE BELL would prevent you from walking through like with a false sense of entitlement that makes Kevin Federline look like a monk by comparison, but you'd be wrong. His latest move is a tell-all about his Screech days. It's kind of like the new X-Files movie of celebrity tell-alls: regardless of what's in it, it's way too late for anyone to care.

Sometimes you feel bad when an actor gets typecast, many don't realize that typecasting was going to be the only kind of fame they would ever achieve; Mr. Diamond is one of those people. Instead of being happy of the crumbs he got off of pop culture's table, he keeps coming back like herpes, and he never gets less itchy.
First, he beats up Ron "Horshack" Palillo in celebrity boxing:

He fights a guy decades older and noticeably smaller, but still acts cocky.

Then there's Celebrity Fit Club; there are many douchebag highlights, but this is douchy and dangerous (about 1:30 in):

But the cherry on the top of the shit sundae is his sex tape. Thankfully, no one is interested in seeing it, so let me summarize(from what I heard). He not only gets two women to sleep with him AND preserve the magic moments in video, he also performs one of the most heinous sexual acts this side of the Donkey Punch, the "Dirty Sanchez". Folks, that just bad three-way etiquette. I have never seen the whole sex tape- and hopefully never will- but I did see an excerpt (Not strictly NSFW, really it's just in poor taste. Also I apologize for the link, I couldn't embed it):
Screech bragging

If I was a lawyer for the court of Pop Culture, the bragging at the end of the excerpt would rest my case. He obviously has some sort of hook-up contest with his friends and he feels that there being shit smearing involved earns him some extra credit.


The story I linked to thought that coming out with a book was going out of the normal order of the desperate celebrity move, but I would disagree. When you've sold yourself out all you have to sell are your friends.

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