Friday, March 14, 2008

Your Pal Answers Anything!

Earlier this week, I asked my readers to ask me any question about anything (as long as it wasn't about math) and I would answer it. I got a grand total of two questions. I won't protect the identity of the askers because they posted openly on my Myspace, I hope they don't mind.

Liam asks: "Where do babies come from?"

Excellent Question! No one knows for sure where babies come from; I suppose it boils down to your perspective:
If you're the first-time mother of a newborn, your baby came straight from Heaven on a fluffy cloud of dreams. The child will spend much of the next 18 years contradicting this belief.

If you're a childless man being kept awake by a sleeping baby on a plane then babies come from fate to remind them to ask about that vasectomy the next time they go to the doctor.

I think they come from the vagina, but don't quote me.

Jerry asks: "How do you do it?"

Excellent question! No one knows for sure how I do it; I suppose it boils down to perspective:

If you're my Mom, the answer is, "Do what?"

If you're an ex-girlfriend, the answer is, "With as little effort as possible!"

Putting aside anything resembling objectivity, I'll say that I use my natural charisma, boyish good looks and attention to what makes humanity tick to bore you as efficiently as possible.

The blog for my book: Surviving Retail

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