News That Makes It's Own Gravy

This Astronaut Love Triangle reminds a little bit of dog food that makes it's own gravy. It's one of those news stories that makes it's own funny. Like Dick Cheney shooting a guy in the face, or Boston being brought to it's knees by the Aqua Teen Hunger Force, or Ted Haggard's "Three weeks to complete heterosexuality",you don't need to spice it at all with any sort of satirical insight, just state the facts and you have an instant joke!

But it's only funny because the attempted kidnapping stayed attempted. As anyone that has seen as many violent movies as I have can attest, the things that they found in her trunk pointed to a much more chilling conclusion to this story. A new steel mallet, a new 4 inch knife, rubber tubing and large garbage bags; it may just be a coincidence, but she's a shovel and some lime powder away from having the complete psycho killers grocery list.

But obviously the plan wasn't as planed out as the truck contents may have suggested and so we can laugh about it!
Dude, she drove the whole way wearing astronaut diapers!