Things I miss about the Eighties(Unfortunately)

About 1986, there was a bit of a revival craze that idealized the 60s. I thought then that there would be no way that there could be a 80s revival. I thought that once parachute pants, Day glo, and Cabbage Patch Kids passed beyond the horizon of popular culture that they would never return. In my teenage snothood, I figured these things were too superficial to inspire nostalgia.

But I was so very wrong, anyone able to either see or hear should know that. My issue is that everything that references that era practically bludgeons you with it. Way too many measures have been taken to scream "Hey! It's the eighties!" For all the references and people with haircuts like them, you'd think Flock of Seagulls were as big as The Beatles, or at least Duran Duran. But in reality, they were only slightly bigger than Kagagoogoo. And we didn't have Rubik's Cubes attached to us. At least not all of us.

But I find myself wistful remembering certain aspects of it that I couldn't have cared less about at the time.

Synth-pop bands always had a token guitar player, even though the music sounded like it was recorded about 5 miles away from the nearest guitar.

In the 80's you could always tell when someone was about to go solo when they would be featured on their own bands single, like Scandal featuring Patty Smyth. This was especially sad when Wham started "featuring" George Michael, because there were only two guys in that fuckin group. Hopefully he warned Andrew Ridgely to get his resume together.

In my day when people danced in movies they danced for their very lives! "Step Up", "Bring It On", what are they dancing for? Just winning a contest or going to a dance college instead of a regular one.

"Breakin' 2"-To save their beloved community center, which helped them escape the stifling drudgery of urban life.

"Flashdance"- To escape the stagnant rat race of blue collar welding and dancing at the one stripclub in Pittsburgh where they don't expect you to get naked.

"Footloose"- Escaping the stifling oppression of a fundamentalist Christian community.

Speaking of dancing, we could even have dance songs without accompanying dances. I mean have you ever seen anyone ever do the Safety or Neutron dance? Thought not.